I think that a good attention to the needs of each other at the sexual level is very effective, but not enough. It is not because we believe we are satisfying each other's desires that we are necessarily right. What's more frustrating than turning around our fantasy, get there almost then finally, turn on something else? It can only lead to disappointment and frustration.
Have you noticed that you do certain gestures, say certain words, and lavish certain caresses as you would like to be done? This is indicative of a lack of sexual communication. To make things easier, ask your partner what excites you at home, the caresses to which he is most receptive, etc ... And little by little, the dialogue will become fluid and natural, almost without embarrassment and with some relief.
For sure, your partner will become curious to know what you are reacting to, too, the most. And you will see that when you make love, some barriers and doubts will be removed ... Believe me!
Be careful, keep some privacy and some mystery to keep a semblance of discovery of the other. Surprise is a very pleasant game in bed. Whether on "being surprised" or "surprising" ...