Adultery is above all a question of heart. Even if the circumstances provide the opportunity, initiate and trap, in the end, it is we who choose in our heart the way to go (and to accuse his partner of this situation is to disempower and that is in fact, choosing not to attack the problem at the root is to choose not to heal).
The biblical story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife is a good illustration of this (Ge 39). This is why the author of the Proverbs warns his young disciple saying: " Keep your heart more than anything else, because from it come the sources of life "(Proverbs 4:23).
But we can not keep what we do not know. Most people do not understand the latent, deep desires of their hearts, desires that they try to satisfy unconsciously with emotions and physical pleasures. We are swallowing so much time and energy in the hassle of everyday life that we have little or no time to probe and understand our deepest hopes, dreams, and desires.
The whirlwind of passions that adultery raises often appears larger than life, because it draws on those desires that we have never really probed or understood.
That's what happened to Bruno (See Article: When Infidelity Strikes My Couple). By not understanding the deep spiritual desires that would have allowed him to find a healthy passion for his wife, Bruno was seduced and conquered by the attentions and affection of Marjorie.
In order to understand why anyone can be vulnerable when intense and legitimate desires, which come from God, are diverted from their purpose, one must first understand that in the heart of every human being are hunger, pain and madness. .
We all want something bigger than the relationships we already have. From the depths of ourselves, we dream of living a fabulous love story. That's why love is the universal theme of any story worthy of the name, including the Bible. We were created to live a sacred love story with the Lover of our soul (Isaiah 62: 5, Ephesians 5: 25-32).
"The man who knocks on the door of a brothel," said G. K. Chesterton, "is in search of God."
The danger, the intrigue, the mystery and the madness that surround an illicit affair contain the promise of appeasing a hunger that God alone, in reality, can satisfy. And it is when we do not understand this latent spiritual desire that our unfulfilled hunger comes to ignite this madness that can push us to adultery. And it is then that adultery seems justified to us, because of the painful disappointments experienced in our relations.
Thirsty for love
Love is more than just that emotional firework and excitement that is the starting point of a relationship. Love requires a passionate search. We are dying to be loved by someone who knows us well and who we would make happy.
But what we do not understand often is that the strength of the feelings that bind a couple, and that amaze us so much, is not only to grow in both partners the pleasure of being together, but also aims to make them better understand the love that our Creator has for us. The love of the bridegroom, of the bride, may reflect that of our God. For many couples, the glow in the partner's gaze gives an idea of the pleasure God has in them.
When we do not seek in God the satisfaction of our most intimate desires, we turn to others and give them the place that belongs to God. Our partner is often imposed the burden of quenching our thirst. When our spouse fails - like everyone else - our thirst for divine love is reduced to a simple search for sexual pleasures approved by our hedonistic and permissive society.
Thirst for relationship
We all have in us this deep desire to belong. God created us to be in touch with Him and others. Jesus prayed that we should be as united as He and His Father (John 17:21). In marriage, the intimacy of bodies and hearts is a reflection of this unity (Genesis 2:24). But if we do not take care of our heart, failing to live with our spouse the intimate unity to which God calls us, we will content ourselves with appearances. If we do not have an intimate relationship with God, our marriage will boil down to a meaningless self-satisfaction relationship. Finally, we will seek to quench our thirst elsewhere.