Communication

Emotional Injuries in the Couple: How to Maintain Harmony and Peace?

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Because no human being is perfect, the offense is almost inevitable. Emotional wounds are inevitable. Everyone has been hurt, physically or internally hurt by words or behavior of others during their lifetime. And on the other hand, we have all offended someone at least once. These emotional wounds are the cause of feelings of rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal and injustice.

The offense often happens in the couple. Indeed, we have seen that a wife can hurt her husband without even realizing it and so a man can hurt his wife involuntarily. In particular, we are dealing here with a priori situations that are not too serious, which are more the domain of good manners: everyday behavior that is more awkwardness, rudeness or a lack of education in human relations and minor snags. which flow from the fact that no one is perfect. What creates a distinction between couples is the way they handle this type of offense. The couples who know the most harmony and peace, are not the ones who do not have problems, they are not the ones in the middle of which nobody offends the other.

The offense is a fault. According to the Larousse dictionary, it is a word, an action that hurts someone in his dignity, in his honor. Most of the time, the offended or injured person is waiting for a repair. She is waiting for justice to be done. When you feel hurt or have a heart ache, it is very easy to get lost in anger, bitterness, fear, despair or other emotions, depending on the nature and extent of the offense. The temptation to close to the other then becomes strong.

Divine model

Sin (or offense) destroys communion with God. It prevents us from having a good relationship with God.

But it is your crimes that put a separation between you and your God; It is your sins that hide your face and prevent you from listening to you. (Isaiah 59: 2)

As far as the East is from the West, so far does it take away our trespasses from us. (Psalms 103: 12)

To him who repents, God forgives offenses. God is taking them away from us. He detaches us from it. He separates us from our offenses so that communion with Him may be possible again.

Human perspective

Offenses at the human level can also create a separation in relationships. "You owe me an apology ... You owe me this or that ..." Regular untreated wounds will eventually create a separation in the heart of one who has been offended, which could potentially break the harmony of the relationship if nothing is done. Here is a key that God gives us to find the path of harmony in a relationship: being slow to take offense and know how to forget!

The man who has wisdom is slow to anger, and he puts his glory in forgetting offenses. (Proverbs 19:11)

The Hebrew word translated "forget" in this passage means: to pass over, to pass over, to forget, to cross, to walk on. Forgetting does not mean erasing the events that caused these emotional hurts in your memory! It means deliberately choosing to crush them under your feet to go to the other!

To find the path of harmony in the couple and maintain it, it is necessary that the one who was bruised makes the choice to walk on the offense, to crush the offense to go towards his spouse.

There is a work to be done in the heart of the one who has been offended. God's will is that we have a heart willing to forgive. Offenses you refuse to forgive raise barriers, walls between you and your spouse. This prevents and will always prevent the maintenance of harmony and peace in your home.

Note that God already had a plan of salvation and redemption for us long before our repentance!

To conclude, do not wait for your spouse to apologize for the "small, unintentional mistakes" on a daily basis to please him in your heart. Release him from his debts, walk on his trespasses, crush them under your feet so that the peace and harmony of your home is maintained!

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