It is difficult to end a relationship when feelings are still present and you still love your partner. Yet, some of the vagaries of life mean that you are sometimes forced to no longer share your life with the one who makes your heart beat.
For many it is totally incomprehensible because you imagine that love is stronger than anything but unfortunately you must know that this is not always the case.
Breaking for love is so innocuous and rare. But how do you explain the fact that we have to separate without necessarily that it is explained by problems of marriage as in most other stories? The subject of the day is devoted to this theme and you will also discover the story of one of my coachees who experienced this trauma.
To break for love, what is it concretely?
We often have this image of American comedies in which the hero decides to break with the woman he loves simply so as not to prevent him from living his dreams. Although for many it may seem like a cliché,break out of love is not totally an invention of screenwriter made in Hollywood and many people are led to do so. Since I advise men and women in their love life I have seen that dozens, maybe even hundreds of stories that unfortunately ended up this way. There are strong feelings but life makes the only way out is separation.
Acting in this way can be a solution for rebuild the couple. You take a distance, you take stock of your expectations but also your needs, before giving a second chance to your story. In other situations separation is akin to true liberation. When there was many infidelitieswhen there is domestic violence, when children and their development are the victims of your couple's problems.
But separate is not just for these reasons. Indeed, in the case that interests us in this article, the separation is not done because of disagreements, bad gestures but simply because one of the two partners thinks about the happiness of the other and realizes that he / she can be happier without him or her at his side.
Why break in this way
I had the chance to accompany a man, 3 years ago, with whom I stayed in contact and who just inspired me this article because he gave me a reflection a few days ago telling me that I had to address this subject since a lot of people can go through it. Although he allowed me to tell his story I prefer, still do not go into details but simply illustrate my words through his experience, in which you can, you also recognize.
Marc * had a long distance relationship with his girlfriend for 3 years. If the first months the situation was bearable, they managed nevertheless to consolidate their couple. With time, the problems multiplied, their respective missions were prolonged and the prospects of finally living together decreased. Marc, in love, felt that the situation was no longer livable for his girlfriend, that he could not make her happy, so he decided to end the relationship so that she was no longer unhappy and that she could meet someone who lived near her.
Distance is typically one of the main reasons that leads to break out of love. But it is not the only one. Sometimes, to avoid his companion, his companion to suffer one can make the decision to separate. When tensions between families become difficult to live for example, to prevent them from tearing apart, you can make a difficult decision.
This is also the case for hidden relationshipsTo put it simply, if you are the lover or the mistress. In this type of relationship, the one you love may have to think about the outcome of your story to save his family and stay with his children, even if the relationship with her husband or wife is excerceable.
Can we come back after this break
When one break for love, it goes without saying that feelings do not disappear overnight, sometimes they never really go away, the flame does not go out because you or your ex partner continues to love the other. What often happens in this situation is the appearance of regrets. Indeed, the feelings do not disappear and can even strengthen, a return is possible. You made a decision that you thought you could take or overcome, but that is not the case. You feel a terrible lack, you can not move forward without him / her by your side. It is important to act because sometimes the other feels the same and waits for you to take the first step.
So it's a love reconquest that must be put in place but you must nevertheless ask yourself a fundamental question: is it really a good idea?
Think about it for a few moments! You, you are left by lovefor a good reason a few weeks ago or even a few months ago. therefore, if feelings have never ceased to exist, are you not afraid that the situation will always be the same and that you will not be able to fully flourish in your relationship? If nothing has changed a return is it to consider?
The answer is yes ! Do not stay in distress if you have the opportunity to get out. You must not live with regrets especially if you have the opportunity to make things change.
I will come back to the story of Marc, who has just gone through this moment of doubt. He could have gone to see the woman who loved him and won her back during those weeks of leave, but he would not have been able to move or to fight the distance that would continue. So what did he do? He did not give himself a second chance because he knew that their couple would know the same issues. He decided to rebuild, with my help, to overcome the breakup.
Why am I explaining this?
Simply so that you do not let the emotions take over the reason. If you have a real opportunity to make things change, then go for it and start a reconquest but if you know deep inside you that nothing will change it is sometimes better not to persist and rebuild. To get there faster, I refer you to my guide how to rebuild after a painful rupture.
Your coach to explain the consequences of abreak by love
* The name of this coachee has been modified for the sake of confidentiality